A Photographic History of Michael Jackson's Face With blithering, yet witty commentary

	Hard to believe - this was Michael Jackson. He was born August 28, 1958 - one of 9 kids. His father reportedly nicknamed him "Big Nose". Mike was born a cute African-American guy. "Normal", if you will, and very talented. Despite the current, sad stories about his lonely, sad childhood, Mike grew up surrounded by famous people and an adoring public. At age 5, Mike and his brothers were the amazing 'Jackson 5'. They played locally, then in New York and Philly. They were "discovered" by Gladys Knight and pianist Billy Taylor at the famous Apollo Theater in Harlem. By age 11, Mike was a Superstar. At age 13 he went solo and had his first #1 hit at 14 with "Ben" (a touching love song to a rat). Who knew he'd get addicted to plastic surgery, face accusations of child molestation and end up America's Most Famous Sideshow?
1984 age 26	Mike gets his nose slightly narrowed and his eyebrows shaped. This was his "Thriller" Era and he was smokin'. People did notice this facial change and commented on it - guys just didn't do this back then. Some in the Black community made comments about him having a problem with his African-American looks and making his nose more "White". He was cute as hell, though. Oh, baby. He gave coherent interviews. He had a cute sense of humor and was seen on TV doing other things besides whining, faking tears and defending legal charges. He didn't wear a face mask in public. He smiled a big, infectious smile. He was humble and grateful for his fame and his fans' appreciation. He made hit after hit, celebrated music videos one after another, sealed obscenely huge record sales and contracts. He had unprecedented $ponsorship deals with Pepsi, and LA Gear Sportwear. People stood in line at 1AM to purchase "Thriller" when it came out, even though the store didn't open until 9 AM.
1985 age 27	The shark music from "Jaws" starts softly in the background... Another nose job to narrow things and permanent eyeliner tattooed around his eyes. Ouch! Is that lipstick?! Hell, it's the 80s - it's allowed. During that time he had an army of spin doctors, lawyers, bodyguards, agents, minions, PR magicians, attendants, and managers all making sure he no one had a clue about his personal life but what did we care? He was doing amazing, selfless things - contributing to children's charities and starting his own "Heal The World Foundation"; cowriting the famous "We Are The World" song to help African famine victims. He was given the Heritage Award and praised by Queen Liz, President Reagan and others. Mike was everywhere, giving as much as he got and letting us all know how blessed he was. There was no one who wasn't impressed and didn't sprain an ankle trying to imitate his "Moon Walk" in their living room.	Almost, but not quite, The Rock Horror Show
1987 age 29	The Sigourney Weaver in "Ghostbusters" Stage - The beginning of the end. OK, people and the press are really talking now. Gasps are audibly heard. He gets his nose done again, and, in a move that will forever baffle the world, neglects to sue the bastard who botched the surgery job on him. He suddenly has cheek bones. In a mere year and a half his skin's gone from beautiful cocoa bronze to fish belly white. He first denies this, then blames it on the medical condition Vitiligo which causes people of color to develop light patches of skin that lack pigment. Well he doesn't say this, his "people" say this. Mike ain't saying a thing which is odd considering the good he could do to bring this little understood condition to public light. Rumors abound that he's been allegedly taking female hormones (note the clever use of the word "allegedly" to avoid a law suit) to remove facial hair and keep that voice of his at the 12 year old boy pitch. He's talking in a Marilyn Monroe Little Girl Whisper. He's started the Spin of the misunderstood, picked-upon Victim instead of an increasingly weird 30 year old man. He's creepy. People are making jokes that only in America can you be born a black man and end up a white woman. Talented or no, the fact is we're realizing that Michael Has Issues.	Sigourney